


Two Shots of Vodka

by BeeCeit



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Arguing, Capslock, Deceit Sanders Angst, Heavy Angst, Hurt Deceit Sanders, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Morally Neutral Deceit Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, The sides all are, Virgil is a major asshole in this one, Yelling, this hurt to write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-25
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2020-03-17 07:38:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18960808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeeCeit/pseuds/BeeCeit
Summary: Based on a post by @snowe-zolynn-rogers on Tumblr"Ssee, thisss iss why I’m an alcoholic. You five FUCKING idiots have your heads sso far up your asssesss! You five, the dark ssidess, you’re all the FUCKING same!"





	Two Shots of Vodka

**Author's Note:**

> https://yeet-ceit.tumblr.com/post/185131107464/snowe-zolynn-rogers-heyitsmeimjustkindahere
> 
> ^^ The post this is based on

“Honey bear… I’m not going to take any choices away from you. But maybe you should switch to water for tonight.”

 

Deceit groaned.

 

“Rem, I’m fine. We’re not real, It’s not like I can die from alcohol poisoning.”

 

Remy rubbed his temples, well used to this argument.

 

“That doesn’t mean you can’t get fucked up. And your hangover tomorrow is already going to be nasty.”

 

“It’s fine. I’ll just sleep it off.”

 

“Babe, you know I hate using my powers on you.”

 

“Then don’t. ...fuck, He’s summoning me.”

 

“Right now?”

 

“Yeah. Fuck, how do I look?”

 

“Pretty red, but not smashed. Oh! Your gloves.”

 

Remy picked them up and tossed them to him, Deceit caught them and slid them on before fixing his hair and sinking out.

 

“See you in ten, honey.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Evil chuckle, smirk, light fade, whatever. What do you want?”

 

“Did he just say-”

 

“Wow, Deceit, you’re not even gonna try anymore? What’s the point of the cape, then?”

 

“What’s the point of the eyeshadow, you rabid raccoon?”

 

“Hey!  _ Nobody _ , especially not  _ you _ , is allowed to talk to my son like that. Thomas, having him here was a mistake, I think he needs to go back.”

 

“Patton, I know you don’t want him here, but we should at least hear what he has to say.”

 

Deceit glanced over towards Thomas and suppressed an eyeroll at how obviously Thomas was trying to inch away.

 

“It’d be easier if I actually knew what I’m supposed to be helping with.”

 

“Thomas, there is no logical reason to lie in this situation. Clearly, telling the truth here would be more beneficial to you, and your friend’s emotional state.”

 

“Emotional state? Logan, what is happ-”

 

“But think of all the opportunities missed! If we tell them the truth, then-”

 

“The truth about what?!”

 

Roman cleared his throat. “If we tell them the truth, then we’ll never-”

 

“The truth about what-”

 

“Deceit, stop interrupting Roman. It’s rude.”

 

“He interrupted me! All I’m asking is wha-”

 

“Thomas, kiddo, I can’t think with him here, I’m pretty sure we can handle this without him.”

 

“Oh my gosh, guys, look how red he is! Holy shit, Deceit, are you drunk?”

 

“ **_THAT’S ENOUGH!_ ** ”

 

The other four sides and Thomas jumped back.

 

“Ssee, thisss iss why I’m an alcoholic. You five  **_FUCKING_ ** idiots have your heads sso far up your asssesss! You five, the dark ssidess, you’re all the  **_FUCKING_ ** same! Excuse me.”

  
  


Deceit pushed past Logan with significantly more force than necessary and grabbed a bottle of wine from the kitchen counter. He tossed the stopper onto the floor and started chugging.

 

“Deceit, I don’t think-”

 

“Clearly not.”

 

“Maybe you should slow-”

 

“Maybe you should fuck off.”

 

“Kiddo, this isn’t healthy-”

 

“I’M NOT YOUR  **_FUCKING_ ** KIDDO! YOU ALL TREAT ME LIKE A  **_FUCKING_ ** JOKE AND EXPECT ME TO JUST BE FINE? WITH ALL THE SHIT YOU SPEW, YOU STILL WANNA CALL ME A LIAR?”

 

Deceit slammed the bottle down, fixing them all with a cold glare.

 

“Patton, still pretending to be the innocent little lamb while he manipulates all of you more than I ever had. Virgil, acting like he wasn’t just as  **_fucking_ ** dark as the rest of us,” Deceit’s voice softened some. “Roman, pretending to be fine while he’s breaking right in front of you with no one noticing… and Logan… So desperate to be listened to that he’ll agree with anything Patton says just so you all won’t hate him. You’re all fucking liars.”

 

“Maybe we are. But that still doesn’t make you any less of a piece of garbage, you fucking snake.”

 

“Well, at least I admit it! Fuck you, Virgil! Fuck all of you!” Deceit snatched the bottle back up and finished chugging, then threw it straight into the recycling bin as visibly as he could. 

 

“The next time you need me… don’t.”

 

Deceit sunk out, holding his middle fingers high above his head.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“It went that well, huh?”

 

“Same shit, different day.”

**Author's Note:**

> I should feel bad, right? ...whoops


End file.
